I want to change the way I do resolutions. I personally do them on my birthday, because then it is for my personal year, and I often reflect on the past year then vs. at the end of the calendar year. So I have decided to base my resolutions on feelings instead of on things. I have noticed that if I resolve to change something that puts too much pressure on myself, or is based on material or superficial things, I set myself up for failing. So this year I want to feel abundant, happy, love, healthy, creative, even more empowered, aware, and connected. So now its the fun part of figuring out what I can do to elicit those feelings as often as possible! (which I promise will grace the pages of this blog as I go!)
As an example, every year gyms make a ton of money in January because of all the people out there who are determined to lose weight, by March (if not before) a very high percentage of people no longer go, and have given up on their resolution. So instead of wanting lose weight, figure out what feelings you are chasing, is it the feeling of being healthy? more energetic? happiness? feeling sexier? Find ways to feel those feelings and your weight should change in a positive way as a natural bi-product!
If it is health your after, set an intention to make better/healthier food choices, or decide to try at least one new health based thing this year - jazzercise, yoga, jogging, walking, zumba, and try to have fun with it. If you hate doing it, you won't last, so set yourself up for success by trying to find something that you can enjoy, even if its just a little.
If it is increased energy, try to go to bed at a better time and get a good nights sleep, decrease your caffeine and sugar intake in the day, increase the amount you exercise, eat healthier, do things with a smile.
If it is happiness, read this blog :) , do things with a smile, breathe, think of the things that make you the happiest (whether it be scrapbooking, dancing, laughing, meditation, spiritual pursuits, reading a great book) and do that as often as you can. Explore all of the things that make you smile, and you will find yourself happier as time goes on.
If it is feeling sexy, wear clothes that you feel good in, and tell yourself that you are sexy (while smiling) even when you aren't feeling that way, eventually you will feel it. Try to focus on the areas of your body that you love vs. the parts that you feel could use some work. Be gentle with yourself!
Instead of making the 'issue' the focus of change, make the positive feeling the creator of change!
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
The Balance Myth
I don't know if it is just me that does this, but I think the concept of balance has me striving to achieve something that is truly not achievable. I don't know if it is the visualization of a see-saw and having something as equal on one side as it is on the other to obtain that perfect level of balance or just the amount of things that I have read or heard about achieving and maintaining the mythological balance. To be honest I am not even sure what it is that I am trying to balance, is it family and work, is it work and rest and play, how many things am I allowed to try to balance? and should it all be equal parts? 50/50, 33.3/33.3/33.3??
I feel like I hear other people talk about trying to achieve the same thing, some sort of ability to divide our time up into specific areas to make sure that we spend the right amount of time in the right amount of spaces to create the right amount of happiness. But because our lives are always changing, this concept of balance has become something that is more of a stress when we don't feel like we have it; then it is something that helps us feel good about ourselves/our lives.
I think that we have also created the idea of balance to make sure that we are spending our time appropriately and making sure that we aren't being wasteful with our precious time. So I decided to look at my life and see where I was wasting my time. And often the first things that I consider are the times in which I am relaxing. TV is a huge time 'waster' for me, but it is really one of the few things that will allow my mind to check out for a few minutes at a time, and in truth the amount that goes on in there, my mind needs some down time too! So really, not wasteful. In truth it is important to rest, and recoup in order to stay healthy. I see my family and friends often, sometimes it more, sometimes its less, I work quite a bit, but that goes with doing what you love, and loving what you do, and growing a business. Some days I work harder than others, it all depends on how I feel. I don't have kids, maybe balance is different when your a parent.
So is my life 'unbalanced'? probably. Should I strive to make it swing into some sort of balance? probably not. I think I am just going to let my notions of balance go, and let my life be what it is for every moment it is.
I feel like I hear other people talk about trying to achieve the same thing, some sort of ability to divide our time up into specific areas to make sure that we spend the right amount of time in the right amount of spaces to create the right amount of happiness. But because our lives are always changing, this concept of balance has become something that is more of a stress when we don't feel like we have it; then it is something that helps us feel good about ourselves/our lives.
I think that we have also created the idea of balance to make sure that we are spending our time appropriately and making sure that we aren't being wasteful with our precious time. So I decided to look at my life and see where I was wasting my time. And often the first things that I consider are the times in which I am relaxing. TV is a huge time 'waster' for me, but it is really one of the few things that will allow my mind to check out for a few minutes at a time, and in truth the amount that goes on in there, my mind needs some down time too! So really, not wasteful. In truth it is important to rest, and recoup in order to stay healthy. I see my family and friends often, sometimes it more, sometimes its less, I work quite a bit, but that goes with doing what you love, and loving what you do, and growing a business. Some days I work harder than others, it all depends on how I feel. I don't have kids, maybe balance is different when your a parent.
So is my life 'unbalanced'? probably. Should I strive to make it swing into some sort of balance? probably not. I think I am just going to let my notions of balance go, and let my life be what it is for every moment it is.
Friday, October 26, 2012
The Power of Forgiveness
Forgiving someone is often a really hard thing to do, having that conversation with someone that you really don't want to have can be even harder, but what happens when you are unable to talk to them? or simply aren't ready to?
The first step is to forgive on your part. Write a letter to the person who you feel has wronged you, make sure to make it as truthful as possible, get your feelings out let them know how much they hurt you. Let everything out (especially all those things that you wished you could have said in the moment), even if it means you are writing a novel. They will NEVER read this letter. This is for you and only you to see. Once you are done, burn it, flush it, get rid of it in any cathartic way that you feel good with (personally I love to burn these!) This will help get things out.
Next step, this is very important! Forgive yourself. You need to acknowledge that you are a part of this scenario as well, be kind and compassionate to yourself and understand that you did the best you could with the tools that you had, own your part of what happened and figure out how you can grow from it. If you need to, write a similar letter to yourself, and burn it too.
Now try to see it from the wrong doers perspective, see if you can find it in yourself to feel compassion for this person then send them the thoughts of love and light, and wish them the best on their journey.
Forgiveness doesn't have to be about forgetting, and it doesn't mean that you have to now have this person back in your life or that you excuse their behavior/actions. This is for you to heal, for you to grow, and for you to move forward in your life. The only person who suffers from holding on to pain, resentment, anger, and hurt feelings is you. The only person who can release these feelings is you.
If you are still having some troubles letting go, and feel that you need to hear them say they are sorry to you, but cannot accomplish this, write another letter. Write it to you, from them, in it write all of the things that you wish they would say to you. Ask someone that you love and trust to read the letter to you, sit with closed eyes and picture the person who hurt you as the one speaking. Remember to breathe, and let the emotions that come up be free to come out, give yourself permission to heal and forgive. Then burn that letter too.
The first step is to forgive on your part. Write a letter to the person who you feel has wronged you, make sure to make it as truthful as possible, get your feelings out let them know how much they hurt you. Let everything out (especially all those things that you wished you could have said in the moment), even if it means you are writing a novel. They will NEVER read this letter. This is for you and only you to see. Once you are done, burn it, flush it, get rid of it in any cathartic way that you feel good with (personally I love to burn these!) This will help get things out.
Next step, this is very important! Forgive yourself. You need to acknowledge that you are a part of this scenario as well, be kind and compassionate to yourself and understand that you did the best you could with the tools that you had, own your part of what happened and figure out how you can grow from it. If you need to, write a similar letter to yourself, and burn it too.
Now try to see it from the wrong doers perspective, see if you can find it in yourself to feel compassion for this person then send them the thoughts of love and light, and wish them the best on their journey.
Forgiveness doesn't have to be about forgetting, and it doesn't mean that you have to now have this person back in your life or that you excuse their behavior/actions. This is for you to heal, for you to grow, and for you to move forward in your life. The only person who suffers from holding on to pain, resentment, anger, and hurt feelings is you. The only person who can release these feelings is you.
If you are still having some troubles letting go, and feel that you need to hear them say they are sorry to you, but cannot accomplish this, write another letter. Write it to you, from them, in it write all of the things that you wish they would say to you. Ask someone that you love and trust to read the letter to you, sit with closed eyes and picture the person who hurt you as the one speaking. Remember to breathe, and let the emotions that come up be free to come out, give yourself permission to heal and forgive. Then burn that letter too.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Take a breath
Friday, September 21, 2012
I'm going to get my half orange...
I am reading Meeting Your Half-Orange by Amy Spencer, and I highly recommend it for any lady (or man) out there who is single, and is really wanting to find their partner. I have been devouring books on self improvement, spirituality, energy, healing, physics and how the universe works, for years and years. I do this because I have a constant striving to improve my life, have an understanding of what I do for a living, and to have the ability to share what I have learned with others in hopes that it can help them too. Not to mention how much I like to read! This is the first time I have intentionally picked up a book that to improve my love life, because I know that being in a meaningful, wonderful, and loving relationship will make me happy, and I decided it was time to maybe get some help in the one area of my life that wasn't making me happy. Thanks to this incredible book, I really feel good about admitting that the right romantic partner will be an improvement in my life, and a partnership will in fact make me a stronger person - and by admitting this it doesn't mean that I am any less of the incredible woman that I am, it is just getting the right message to the universe.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Lead By Example
This goes along with my last post of listening and honoring yourself. Leading by example is a really important thing to do that can help improve your happiness!
Do you ever find yourself getting frustrated that people do something that was clearly not right? or just inconsiderate? I find that inconsiderate actions are hard for me to remain calm and centered about, so I have been trying to find the best way for me to keep my wits about me, and leading by example has really helped. I have made the conscious decision to do what I know is right for me, and making sure that I am kind and considerate to others!
Driving can be a time when all of this comes out, we have all had the person that is driving very closely behind us because we are apparently going to slow for them, and I know we have also been the person to do it to someone else. So instead of getting mad about it, I give them space, and wait calmly until I can go around, there is no sense stressing them out, and myself out, when it just isn't necessary.
If you don't like it when something happens to you, or someone treats you a certain way, then don't do it to someone else. Lead by example, and if and when that thing that bugs you happens, take a nice deep breath, smile, and be grateful that you don't do that -what ever it is- anymore. I know this sounds a bit like common sense but we all still have that little egoic thing in us that wants retribution from time to time!
Being proactive and applying not so random acts of kindness is also a good plan, smiling first at someone generally ensures they will smile at you back, and hopefully at the next person too! Aim for happiness, project happiness as often as possible, and maybe someone will see how happy you are and try to emulate it!
Do you ever find yourself getting frustrated that people do something that was clearly not right? or just inconsiderate? I find that inconsiderate actions are hard for me to remain calm and centered about, so I have been trying to find the best way for me to keep my wits about me, and leading by example has really helped. I have made the conscious decision to do what I know is right for me, and making sure that I am kind and considerate to others!
Driving can be a time when all of this comes out, we have all had the person that is driving very closely behind us because we are apparently going to slow for them, and I know we have also been the person to do it to someone else. So instead of getting mad about it, I give them space, and wait calmly until I can go around, there is no sense stressing them out, and myself out, when it just isn't necessary.
If you don't like it when something happens to you, or someone treats you a certain way, then don't do it to someone else. Lead by example, and if and when that thing that bugs you happens, take a nice deep breath, smile, and be grateful that you don't do that -what ever it is- anymore. I know this sounds a bit like common sense but we all still have that little egoic thing in us that wants retribution from time to time!
Being proactive and applying not so random acts of kindness is also a good plan, smiling first at someone generally ensures they will smile at you back, and hopefully at the next person too! Aim for happiness, project happiness as often as possible, and maybe someone will see how happy you are and try to emulate it!
Sunday, August 12, 2012
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
I hope when reading the title of this post you sung r-e-s-p-e-c-t like Aretha Franklin, I certainly did and it made me happy!
So this is an important one, and one that takes a lot of us many years to really grasp and follow (and by us I mean me, I just hope I am not the only one!) I should clarify this is about respecting yourself, not about others - though I do obviously encourage you to respect others too, just as long as you are respecting yourself first and foremost.
In order to really be able to help others, or to live happily among other people we need to learn the art of self respect. I have been trying to figure out why it is such a bad thing to be selfish or self centered, I understand that when it is coming from a place of pure ego, or when it is out of balance, or if it is intentionally hurting others, that it is a bad thing. But why are we taught that it is so bad to be focusing on self?? I know some selfish people, and I know that I get mad when they are selfish, but when I think about what really makes me mad, I realize that I am not selfish enough, I will do for others before I will do for myself, and that my anger is really masking my desire to do the same, and the frustration that I am not.
So I made a promise to myself that I will start respecting, honoring and listening to myself, and what I want as long as I am coming from a heart centered place. And amazing things started to happen! I found the power to say no to things that I didn't want to do, and I now listen to my body when I am overdoing things, and taking time for me to rest and recharge. * I am returning my power to myself! instead of giving it all away to everyone else. I truly feel empowered now.
I do know that I have hurt some feelings along the way, interestingly enough though, I don't actually feel bad about it! It is all because I intentionally come from a heart centered place, which basically means that I am making sure to respect my choices and decisions, and making sure that I am saying no based on how I really feel and not out of spite or drama. I have also come to the understanding that it isn't my job to make sure other peoples feelings don't get hurt, it's my job to make sure that mine don't. So instead of obliging others at the expense of my happiness, I allow my heart to be heard and honored instead.
So this is an important one, and one that takes a lot of us many years to really grasp and follow (and by us I mean me, I just hope I am not the only one!) I should clarify this is about respecting yourself, not about others - though I do obviously encourage you to respect others too, just as long as you are respecting yourself first and foremost.
In order to really be able to help others, or to live happily among other people we need to learn the art of self respect. I have been trying to figure out why it is such a bad thing to be selfish or self centered, I understand that when it is coming from a place of pure ego, or when it is out of balance, or if it is intentionally hurting others, that it is a bad thing. But why are we taught that it is so bad to be focusing on self?? I know some selfish people, and I know that I get mad when they are selfish, but when I think about what really makes me mad, I realize that I am not selfish enough, I will do for others before I will do for myself, and that my anger is really masking my desire to do the same, and the frustration that I am not.
So I made a promise to myself that I will start respecting, honoring and listening to myself, and what I want as long as I am coming from a heart centered place. And amazing things started to happen! I found the power to say no to things that I didn't want to do, and I now listen to my body when I am overdoing things, and taking time for me to rest and recharge. * I am returning my power to myself! instead of giving it all away to everyone else. I truly feel empowered now.
I do know that I have hurt some feelings along the way, interestingly enough though, I don't actually feel bad about it! It is all because I intentionally come from a heart centered place, which basically means that I am making sure to respect my choices and decisions, and making sure that I am saying no based on how I really feel and not out of spite or drama. I have also come to the understanding that it isn't my job to make sure other peoples feelings don't get hurt, it's my job to make sure that mine don't. So instead of obliging others at the expense of my happiness, I allow my heart to be heard and honored instead.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
The Concept of Fun
I was out for tea with a friend and she brought up a really good point that I fully connect with. Who is it that decided what days we can have fun on, and what we have to do in order to have fun. If you think of the days you are supposed to 'go out and have fun' its almost guaranteed that you are going to say Friday and Saturday nights, right? and why do you have to go out, drink, do drugs, go to a place that plays horribly loud music etc. etc.?
I know that I am almost 30, and I am bound to be making changes in my life, social life included. But I have never enjoyed the bar scene, I have never really been much of a drinker/recreational drug user, and in the past few years I haven't been at all. This does not mean that I don't have fun. I can go out for tea, or for a walk, hang out with friends, or to an event and have a lot of fun, I can also sit at home and read a good book and have fun.
I think what fun really comes down to for me is what I enjoy doing, not doing things that are based on what 'they' decide is fun. The point of this and how it relates to happiness is this: Do what feels right for you. I know it can be hard when what you like goes against the grain a little, but do it anyway. I promise you will find new friends that will share in what you love doing, and some friends may surprise you and enjoy doing the fun things you like to do too.
Everything just comes down to honoring and respecting yourself, as long as you are doing that you will be happier and have a lot of fun!
I know that I am almost 30, and I am bound to be making changes in my life, social life included. But I have never enjoyed the bar scene, I have never really been much of a drinker/recreational drug user, and in the past few years I haven't been at all. This does not mean that I don't have fun. I can go out for tea, or for a walk, hang out with friends, or to an event and have a lot of fun, I can also sit at home and read a good book and have fun.
I think what fun really comes down to for me is what I enjoy doing, not doing things that are based on what 'they' decide is fun. The point of this and how it relates to happiness is this: Do what feels right for you. I know it can be hard when what you like goes against the grain a little, but do it anyway. I promise you will find new friends that will share in what you love doing, and some friends may surprise you and enjoy doing the fun things you like to do too.
Everything just comes down to honoring and respecting yourself, as long as you are doing that you will be happier and have a lot of fun!
Morning Gratitude
I am starting to realize that thinking about five or so things that I am grateful for in the morning is also useful. Personally I think about it before I get out of bed/between snooze button hits, its work to write it down, and I figure thinking about it is just as effective. It does help me start my day off on a more positive note and I feel more motivated to get things done in the day!
Monday, July 23, 2012
Falling Off The Happiness Wagon
I fell off...hard. My original intent was to share awesome inspiring ways that I have found personally useful to maintain and/or create happiness (hence the blogs name) but now I realize that it is just as important to say the crappy parts of the journey, because I know that they are just as important as the happy parts. I am grateful for every experience in my life. I know that every time I pick myself back up and continue where I left off I am proud of myself, and it gets a little easier each time.
Okay so the crappy part, also a forewarning if you plan on doing the burn I outlined in the previous post: so a culmination of things happened to assist me in the parting of me and my wagon (I admit my role in this!) I had a very big project to do for my business, and I had a month to complete it. I started it very shortly after said burn, which - this is the forewarning part - I realized was the start of a small downward spiral. I spent three full days thinking about the beliefs that I had from childhood that no longer served and supported me. In retrospect, that was far too long, it created a negative space for a prolonged period of time, combined with the dwelling on things well after the burn. At the same time, some of these belief systems were tested by my family by synchronicity, some of these tests I admittedly failed. Then my deadline grew nearer, and I grew more devoted to its completion, and less devoted to my spiritual and happiness inducing practices, first to drop off was my morning Qi-Gong, then my visualizations, my gratitude 5, my journal entries, my breathing, my attitude, my drive to do better.... Then my project ended, I completed it, and I feel good about the final product. But I didn't resume my routine, or even re-start one of the things that is important to me. So there was no joy or excitement at the completion of a major task, and really I just felt like sitting in front of my TV with all of my spare time and just mentally and spiritually check out, and that is exactly what I have been doing for the past 2+ weeks. Which I tell ya, felt a whole lot longer than that!
So then I started to go to other people to seek out what is wrong, and to get them to help me feel better, and in the process met a wonderful Tibetan medicine man, who asked me if I go to get water from my neighbors when I am thirsty? and oh the realization that I am a healer who maybe should be working my magic on myself hit me. Then I realized all the things I had been doing before were truly making me happy, it was a way to honor and empower myself. I got up this morning, I did my morning visualizations (between snooze buttons so I don't lose track of time) and I did Qi-Gong while my water for tea was boiling (which a friend inspired me to do today), and I have to say I already feel the way I did over a month ago. My family stress has eased, I can breathe again, and I feel like the light inside me is back to shining with all its brilliance.( I suppose it really has always been there shining, it was just me that didn't notice)
The moral of the story is: Sometimes we need to have unhappiness to really appreciate happiness, be grateful for the dark so you can appreciate the light. We do all need to have a balance, and I know that I will still have moments, or days where I am not at my highest happiness point, but I have now made the commitment to myself to do the best I can, and if that means I revel in my unhappiness for a bit, or I only do one of my happiness inducing things, or I do them all, or add something new into the mix, so be it. Showing kindness and compassion to ourselves should actually be the first thing on the list of creating happiness!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Hug Your Ego
I started doing this awhile back, and don't always remember to do it in every moment it is needed but seriously this one thing helps A LOT!
If you can manage to do this before ego is in full tantrum it works really quickly, if in full blow tantrum it sometimes takes a little longer to remember to do.
Practice this visualization so that you can call on the visual whenever you need to.
First - start out picturing your ego, visualize a 2-5 year old version of yourself, and make sure that version is an unhappy kid, the one with a little snot hanging out, with red eyes from crying, shoulders slumped, maybe the arm of a teddy bear in one hand with the rest of it dragging on the floor, head down with your hair limply hanging in front of your face, feet pointing awkwardly inward. This is your ego, a sad, probably scared little kid.
Second - picture you now, happy, loving and compassionate, and really feel it.
Third - Picture you now giving that sad, scared little kid a great big loving hug. Feel what it would feel like to be that little kid getting such love, kindness, compassion and support in knowing that everything is going to be okay.
That's it. easy peasy. If you are not a visual person and are more auditory, hear the sounds of a tantrum - yelling, screaming, moaning, crying and then think of the soothing words that would make that child feel better and have them quiet down. Choose a couple of words and use them as your trigger words (shhh everything is going to be alright etc. be creative)
You can be proactive with this one too, if you don't like public speaking but know you have to do a presentation in front of co-workers, fellow students, bosses, teachers, whoever, before you go up there take those deep breaths, and picture this, let your ego be calmed before you need to go out there, your fear will instantly be soothed as your ego is soothed, for they are often one and the same.
If you can manage to do this before ego is in full tantrum it works really quickly, if in full blow tantrum it sometimes takes a little longer to remember to do.
Practice this visualization so that you can call on the visual whenever you need to.
First - start out picturing your ego, visualize a 2-5 year old version of yourself, and make sure that version is an unhappy kid, the one with a little snot hanging out, with red eyes from crying, shoulders slumped, maybe the arm of a teddy bear in one hand with the rest of it dragging on the floor, head down with your hair limply hanging in front of your face, feet pointing awkwardly inward. This is your ego, a sad, probably scared little kid.
Second - picture you now, happy, loving and compassionate, and really feel it.
Third - Picture you now giving that sad, scared little kid a great big loving hug. Feel what it would feel like to be that little kid getting such love, kindness, compassion and support in knowing that everything is going to be okay.
That's it. easy peasy. If you are not a visual person and are more auditory, hear the sounds of a tantrum - yelling, screaming, moaning, crying and then think of the soothing words that would make that child feel better and have them quiet down. Choose a couple of words and use them as your trigger words (shhh everything is going to be alright etc. be creative)
You can be proactive with this one too, if you don't like public speaking but know you have to do a presentation in front of co-workers, fellow students, bosses, teachers, whoever, before you go up there take those deep breaths, and picture this, let your ego be calmed before you need to go out there, your fear will instantly be soothed as your ego is soothed, for they are often one and the same.
Monday, June 11, 2012
An A-HA Moment
I had a moment today where I realized that I have the absolute confidence in what I do and what I am creating with my Holistic business, and for once (and forever now), that confidence is unshakable. I know that it can be a hard thing when other people (especially family) express their thoughts, opinions, or judgement's, for me to not take it to heart and second guess what I am doing in my life, and if it really is the correct decision. So today I had a family member randomly make a comment, I don't think it was intended as a 'dig' or as something that I would have held on to to think about later, but I am grateful for them saying what they did! it created the thought process that led me to really understand and own that I am confident in my chosen path and the success of said path.
I think that my striving to achieve lasting happiness gave me the tools to really look at my situation at any given time and try to see the positive in everything which lead me to my a-ha today! and allowed me to enjoy my happiness and not focus on the initial negative 5 second moment, that I could have stretched out all day!
I love positive growth!
I think that my striving to achieve lasting happiness gave me the tools to really look at my situation at any given time and try to see the positive in everything which lead me to my a-ha today! and allowed me to enjoy my happiness and not focus on the initial negative 5 second moment, that I could have stretched out all day!
I love positive growth!
Sunday, June 10, 2012
The gratitude five
Something that I find really useful is writing down 5 things at the end of the day that I am really grateful for. I like to do this right before I go to bed, I find that it helps me fall asleep faster and have a better sleep. I think it's because I am focusing on something really positive that it prevents me from worrying myself awake.
Plus, I look for things in my day that I am going to put in my gratitude journal so I try to see positive thing throughout my day to make it easier at night.
I do have a journal that is specifically for gratitude too, I still like to have a journal that I can vent in if I want to!
And I don't limit myself to five things but I do make that my minimum required happy/grateful things!
I have noticed that I am happier because of this simple thing!
Plus, I look for things in my day that I am going to put in my gratitude journal so I try to see positive thing throughout my day to make it easier at night.
I do have a journal that is specifically for gratitude too, I still like to have a journal that I can vent in if I want to!
And I don't limit myself to five things but I do make that my minimum required happy/grateful things!
I have noticed that I am happier because of this simple thing!
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
5 Deep Breaths
That can mean the difference between having a monumental freak out, and calmly choosing to find a better way to deal with it. As soon as I feel my shoulders rising, my jaw clenching, my eyes scowling, and my breathing become quick and shallow, I STOP and take 5 Deep Breaths (you can take more, or less what ever number works for you, I like 5 because I don't get distracted or lose count, with higher numbers I just might). I know that it sounds like something easy(which it is), or that it won't make a huge difference when you have just been very rudely cut off in traffic, and you want your first response to be a finger salute or some incredibly creative words strung together in a creative way, but I swear it makes an incredibly huge difference, you can still get mad, it just won't be as mad, and won't last as long.
I do this for every moment (that I can remember to) when I start to feel stressed out or overwhelmed, or a little irritated, and now it is a becoming an actual habit, I start deep breathing before I even consciously think to do so. When it has taken me a bit of time to realize that I have been freaking out about something, or I have been stressed or feeling any not so awesome feeling, the things I notice are that my neck, shoulders and jaw start to really hurt, my energy is low, I am way quicker to spiral down and add anything else negative to the negative I am already feeling; truthfully this is my first line of defense and it starts me on my upward spiral.
I am sure there is some scientific evidence that backs up how awesome it is to take deep full breaths, something about oxygen getting to the brain better, maybe some endorphins are released, but I can't remember where I have read about it so I can't properly cite anything. I know that in the Body Talk philosophy the breath is the brains way of scanning the body and figuring out how your body is doing, so often when we are stressed and high strung and clenched all over, the brain recognizes that it isn't in imminent danger, so we don't need to have this physiological reaction, so it sends out all the signals to relax everything and I think that's when we realize that what ever is currently going on really isn't that bad, and sometimes when it really is bad, this helps make it a little more bearable.
so that's it, that is where I started, and what I continue to do to easily be a little bit happier, or change the moments where I don't particularly feel awesome, to moments where I actually feel pretty good. ( I have breathed deeply almost this whole post too)
*a simple warning, deep breathing for too long can lead to dizziness and light-headedness, listen to your body, if you start feeling a little dizzy, breathe normally for a bit, then if you feel like you need to resume your deep breathing exercise
I do this for every moment (that I can remember to) when I start to feel stressed out or overwhelmed, or a little irritated, and now it is a becoming an actual habit, I start deep breathing before I even consciously think to do so. When it has taken me a bit of time to realize that I have been freaking out about something, or I have been stressed or feeling any not so awesome feeling, the things I notice are that my neck, shoulders and jaw start to really hurt, my energy is low, I am way quicker to spiral down and add anything else negative to the negative I am already feeling; truthfully this is my first line of defense and it starts me on my upward spiral.
I am sure there is some scientific evidence that backs up how awesome it is to take deep full breaths, something about oxygen getting to the brain better, maybe some endorphins are released, but I can't remember where I have read about it so I can't properly cite anything. I know that in the Body Talk philosophy the breath is the brains way of scanning the body and figuring out how your body is doing, so often when we are stressed and high strung and clenched all over, the brain recognizes that it isn't in imminent danger, so we don't need to have this physiological reaction, so it sends out all the signals to relax everything and I think that's when we realize that what ever is currently going on really isn't that bad, and sometimes when it really is bad, this helps make it a little more bearable.
so that's it, that is where I started, and what I continue to do to easily be a little bit happier, or change the moments where I don't particularly feel awesome, to moments where I actually feel pretty good. ( I have breathed deeply almost this whole post too)
*a simple warning, deep breathing for too long can lead to dizziness and light-headedness, listen to your body, if you start feeling a little dizzy, breathe normally for a bit, then if you feel like you need to resume your deep breathing exercise
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Am I Happy?
Yes, most of the time. I have been making my happiness a priority in my life these days, and in doing so I have made some incredible changes in my life, but I have to say it has been an incredible challenge. My intention with this blog is to share the things that I have found useful, and the things that didn't work for me, random insights that I have had because I focus on being happy, and to share what I have been reading that really makes a difference in my life, and the insights I have had from said books. Oh and importantly things that have made me laugh, smile, and improve my day.
Like right now for example, I used the spell check as I always do before I post, and the only word that came up that was 'misspelled' was blog, and only because the dictionary doesn't recognize the word, not because the letters weren't in the right order. This I find funny and I can't help but smile!
Like right now for example, I used the spell check as I always do before I post, and the only word that came up that was 'misspelled' was blog, and only because the dictionary doesn't recognize the word, not because the letters weren't in the right order. This I find funny and I can't help but smile!
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