tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55028976949268771212024-02-07T08:03:49.691-08:00Creating Lasting Peaceconfessions of living an authentic heart centered lifeAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-19218489327122876022015-02-02T15:33:00.003-08:002015-02-02T15:33:26.842-08:00The Art and Incredible Care of Being SelfishTraditionally the month of February is about showing others how much we love them, but I'm going to invite you to show yourself a whole lot of love! A lot of times we self sabotage or make excuses for ignoring our own self care, one of the big things that gets in the way is the dreaded 'selfish' word. The dictionary definition is 'devoted to or caring <i>only</i> for oneself, concerned primarily with one's own interests , benefits, welfare etc., regardless of others' and 'characterized by or manifesting concern or care <i>only</i> for oneself.' If we simply take out the word ONLY from both of those descriptions it sounds like the best ideas in the world!!<br />
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We truthfully should be devoted to ourselves, our interests, benefits, and welfare, because if we don't who will? and how will someone else ever be able to take care of you, if you don't know how you love to receive care! You will be able to be the best version of yourself if you practice and embrace who you are and what makes your heart sing, and as you develop the habit of doing this every single day, you will be able to be more present and loving to those around you.<br />
We continue to live in a place of deficit, we feel like we don't have enough time, sleep, money or love, and we try to get things done in our daily lives from that place of exhaustion, pain and frustration and so far it hasn't been working out all that well for you. So I am proposing something different, begin being selfish in small ways, and start letting the idea of outward perfection go, and embracing inner satisfaction one step at a time.<br />
I know that we think we have to do everything right now or else it won't get done, but sometimes we have to make a different choice, I promise you if you don't get to the dishes today, they will be there tomorrow (so will the laundry, facebook, the ability to check your emails etc.), but reading a chapter of a book that makes you happy, having a longer bath, going to bed 15 minutes earlier, meditating, taking the long way home so you can sing to your favorite songs in the car, getting a massage, going for a float, doing what ever it is that you need in the moment will allow you to feel life in a more harmonious and peaceful way. * I'm not saying that you have to put everything off all the time, just start off with one day a week every week this month, that you choose to do one thing for yourself, then next month try this out two times a week and keep it going as often as you can until it becomes second nature for you to do!<br />
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Once I began to practice the art of selfishness I started to be able to take care of other people in a healthy way, I no longer feel resentful of taking care of others, and it is actually something that comes from a place of love and joy, and anytime that feeling changes into something less pleasant I can look at where I am not taking care of my needs, make a better choice, and go back to feeling better. I feel like I am also coming from a place of abundance and I am able to be more present to those around me, and when I choose to consciously spend time with others, it is more meaningful because I am not thinking about what is on my list, or when I can get home and go to bed.<br />
One of the ways I have used to help remind me that I need to think about what I need in this moment, is to set a reminder for a time in the day where I know I will have the space to do something for me. I set it on my phone, and it also goes off when I arrive home, so as soon as I walk in the door I ask myself "what do I need for me right now?" and sometimes the answer is to do the dishes, or to drink a big glass of water, have something nourishing to eat, or to sit down and do nothing for the next 30 minutes, or to write the wonderful thoughts swirling around my head down.<br />
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And most importantly, know that you deserve to take some time for yourself to show yourself some love.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-5506543578717314172014-11-10T11:30:00.002-08:002014-11-10T11:32:30.569-08:00Adopting the Practice of Self LoveI know that when we think of our bodies it is often in the sense of I don't like this, I would love to change that, this is ugly, I am ugly, I am overweight, I just can't seem to lose weight, get in shape, feel good about myself. If you take a moment to think of your body as if it were a small child this is probably what has played out: it has not gotten enough loving attention, so the first thing it does is do everything it can to draw attention to to itself - which is often the source of random pains, muscular discomfort, and even mild digestive problems. The result is getting more frustrated or unhappy with your body, because not only is it not beautiful, now it doesn't feel good either. Because that didn't work at all, it starts taking more extreme action, because if the attention is on too much weight for example, the body then, will take whatever attention it can get, so it will create more of what you don't want, because it brings even more attention to it. Which then creates more disharmony and negative feelings and increases the effects of this cycle.<br />
There is also the worry and fear around this that if we accept and love our bodies and send it heaps of love as it is, that it will stay the same, and the change we want to see will not happen. This is simply not true.<br />
I invite anyone who this resonates with, to try the following practice out, and stick with it for a minimum of 40 days.<br />
Before you get out of bed in the morning, or before you go to sleep at night (or even when you are stuck in traffic! or a time that works well for you) Start at your toes, wiggle them or just focus your awareness on them, and say either in your head or out loud, I love my toes, then move to the soles of the foot, I love the soles of my feet, I love the tops of my feet, I love my ankles, lower legs, knees, thighs, hips, pelvis, groin, sacrum, spine - lower, middle and upper, my whole back, abdomen, chest, shoulders, arms - upper, forearms, wrists, hands, fingers, neck, throat, jaw, mouth, tongue, nose, cheeks, eyes, ears, forehead, scalp, skull, brain, nerves, lungs, heart, stomach, spleen liver, gallbladder, kidneys, small and large intestines, bowels, bladder, prostate/uterus, reproductive organs, skin, hair, muscles, bones, cells, chakras, energy, soul. ** it is really important to say I love my... before each part.<br />
This may seem like a lot or like it will take a lot of time - it honestly takes me 1 minute 42 seconds to go through the whole process. It may take a little longer at first while you are trying to remember all the parts, but it will come quickly in no time!<br />
While you are doing this, try your best to tune into your body and see how you feel, you may experience some discomfort in the beginning, but stick with it and see how you are feeling week after week!<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-63812584491734222732014-09-14T16:43:00.002-07:002014-09-14T16:47:47.427-07:0012 Tips for Building or Enhancing a Meditation Practice1. It is called a <b style="font-style: italic;">practice </b>for a reason! Be gentle with yourself if you have a mind that wanders frequently, it is perfectly normal! Your mind has been able to do what it wants for as long as you have been alive, it takes time and practice to get out of this habit!<br />
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2. In the beginning, your body will also rebel, it is normal to get physically uncomfortable within the first 10 minutes of a mediation practice, and that is okay too. Take the time to try out different cushions, chairs, and positions and find what works the best for you, and supports your body.<br />
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3. You don't have to meditate for an hour to consider it mediation! If you find that your mind and body get uncomfortable and rebel after 5 minutes of meditation and want to stop, that's okay. The more frequent you practice, the longer you will be able to sit for. If you try to sit and focus for an hour to start, you will set yourself up for failure and undermine your whole meditation experience (and your practice). Start small and work your way up to longer and longer times.<br />
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4. Use a focusing tool, whether it is a mantra (om and so hum are great), a thought, feeling, or idea ( love, peace, calm, centered, connected), an affirmation ( I am calm, I am healthy, I am sacred) be creative, change it as you see fit, and find ones that really resonate and speak to you.<br />
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5. Use breathing to calm the body and focus the mind, <a href="http://turnthefrownupsidedown.blogspot.ca/2014/09/how-to-breathe.html">check this out for info on breathing</a><br />
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6. Use guided meditations - find an app, listen to Deepak Chopra (him and Oprah have free meditation series regularly keep an eye out for them they are really great!) Find some on iTunes, or find some at 'New Age' stores or Yoga studios, find meditation classes (I lead a monthly one at Omnia Wellness)<br />
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7. Do some research, there are different forms of meditation, some are sitting, standing, walking, moving. Find different styles that you can try, so days when you are physically uncomfortable you can try movement or walking.<br />
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8. Carve out time in your day to dedicate to yourself, and your practice. If the morning before work, in the evening before bed, outside in the sun on a sunny day (or inside if it is winter!), find what time of day works for you and go with that, don't try to get it done in the morning if you aren't a morning person!<br />
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9. It's okay if you miss a day! Don't let missing a day or two throw your practice off completely, do your best to start back again as soon as you can (again, even if it is for 5 minutes, it'll make a difference)<br />
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10. Spend a few moments near the end of your meditation with gratitude, for yourself for doing it, for your mind for focusing, for your body for relaxing, and add in anything else you are grateful for. This helps your mind and body to know that meditation = gratitude, happiness, and calmness!<br />
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11. End your meditation with grounding. Imagine your energy connecting to the energy at the center of the earth, and allow yourself to ground and connect into that energy, then allow it to come through your physical body bringing that feeling of being grounded with it. Connect into the physical sense of your body, wiggle fingers and toes, then gently open your eyes and take a few deep breaths to bring your full awareness into the present!<br />
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12. Have Fun! Do what ever you can to make it the most enjoyable experience possible! Create a sacred space, burn candles, use an incense or an oil that you love, imagine yourself in a place in nature that you love like a forest, beach, cave, or at the top of a mountain, let your imagination take you anywhere!<br />
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Happy Meditating!<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-31820601230904952242014-09-12T15:03:00.000-07:002014-09-12T15:06:38.747-07:00How To BreatheI know it sounds strange to write a how-to for something your body does all by itself without really needing input, but an interesting thing happens when we start to feel stress, we stop taking normal breaths and start breathing really shallow, and it is mostly focused in the upper chest. When we actually take a moment to stop and breathe, it allows our nervous system to go from its fight/flight response to its happier rest/digest mode. It gives the mind an opportunity to really assess the situation and realize you aren't in imminent danger (unless of course you are, in which case, breathing may not be your first choice of actions to take!) this allows the body to follow suit, and stop releasing stress induced hormones, and allow the body's natural process to continue to work in an optimal way.<br />
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quick and easy breathing techniques:<br />
**please note that deep breathing can lead to dizziness - if you feel dizzy at any point, simply stop and let your breathing return to normal until the feeling passes.<br />
You can inhale and exhale through either your nose or mouth - which ever is more comfortable for you.<br />
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3 part breath<br />
1-inhale into the belly - focus on pushing your belly out as far as it can comfortably go and then naturally let yourself exhale when your belly feels full<br />
2- inhale into your rib cage - place your hands on the sides of your ribs and focus on pushing them away from your body, again allowing yourself to gently and naturally exhale<br />
3- inhale into the top of your chest - place your hand on your sternum (right in the top center part of your chest) and focus on lifting your hand/chest upwards, again exhaling easily and naturally.<br />
Then combine all three parts together - inhale into the belly, then the ribs, then the chest all in one big deep breath. Repeat 3-5 times<br />
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Relaxation Breath<br />
Sit in a comfortable position. Take 3-5 deep breaths and on each exhale think about (and allow) your body to relax into the chair you are sitting on, you can also do this in bed before you go to sleep.<br />
You can also focus your awareness on different parts of your body with each breath - inhale while focusing on your legs, and as you exhale feel the muscles in your legs relax etc., also great if you have an area of your body that is in pain, you can breathe the whole time focusing on that area's relaxation and pain reduction.<br />
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Counting Breath<br />
Great for if you are feeling overwhelmed, really angry or really stressed. This helps to focus the mind by giving it something to do instead of over thinking about what is stressing you out. Inhale for a count of 4, hold your breath for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 4. You can change the count # to begin always start with a lower number, as you practice this you can gradually increase it as you feel comfortable.<br />
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Energy Breath<br />
This is great for releasing negative energy and bringing in positive energy. Close your eyes, as you inhale imagine a bright white light coming into your body, as you exhale allow any negative energy to leave your body - you can imagine it however you like, smoke, butterflies, a color. As you continue, on your inhalations picture this white light going through your body, your bones, muscles, cells, into your energy system and then at the end, creating a protective bubble around you that keeps light energy in, and any energy you don't want, out.<br />
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Try different breaths out and see which one(s) resonate with you! These are also great to help you get to sleep, or to start your meditation practice (the Energy Breath can be a meditation all on its own!)<br />
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Wishing you Happy Breathing!!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-81689383093023282152014-05-05T14:30:00.001-07:002014-05-05T14:30:10.841-07:00A Formula For Self Care<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">The topic of self care has come up a lot in my life recently, it seems to be one of the themes of this year for me. Often we put ourselves last in the care for column, we make sure that those around us are cared for and don't worry about ourselves until we absolutely have to and don't have a whole lot of energy left to spare. I am definitely guilty of this! so, I decided to do my best to take care of myself, and to put self care as a priority in my day to day life. So if this is something that resonates with you, here are a few things I did to help make it easier for me:</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">- Take some time to write a list of things you love to do for yourself - I love food, so eating a good meal is something that I love (even if its not super healthy!), meditation, writing, having a nap, catching up on tv that I really like, reading a for fun/self empowerment/personal growth book, walking/being in nature, giving myself permission to be entirely unproductive for an evening, are a few of the things on my list. A lot of these are things that I can do that help me recharge and relax.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">- Set a reminder in your calender/phone to remind you to do something for yourself, and make sure you put it at a time in the day where you can do something about it.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">- Check in with yourself and see what feels right, and be really honest with yourself! Just because you haven't meditated in two days, and you feel like you </span><em style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">should, </em><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">but you feel restless, means that a walk may be better for you! Or maybe you really want to eat a bowl of ice cream, do it and don't feel guilty about it!</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">- Sign up for a weekly or monthly class that is something that love to do, pottery, dance, yoga. It helps to keep you committed to yourself. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">- Have support from your friends, family, partner, children, coworkers. Let people know what your up to and get their help to keep you accountable, or have them join you on the self care journey. Talk about what you're doing, and included those you love connecting with in the things that you can (sharing a meal, going to a class together) </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">- Give yourself permission to throw out the things that aren't working for you, or change things up if you stop getting enjoyment out of it. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px;">So that's it, that is what I do to take care of me. It really is true, that the more you take care of yourself, the better you can care for everyone else. </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-16729730192284639292014-03-20T13:25:00.001-07:002014-03-20T13:25:51.111-07:00The Importance of Having Compassion With UnderstandingIf we seek to understand with our minds and our intellect, we may think we understand, but we do so with judgement, because that is what the intellectual mind does , makes judgements about situations to make logical assessments so we can decide what to do, and what is right or wrong based on our own thoughts, ideas and experiences. <br />We may think what we judge is true and right, which leads us to think we understand.<div>
<br />This is not understanding. <br />This is judgement. </div>
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This makes it about your ego. </div>
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<br />When we bring compassion into the mix, when we open our hearts to the person or the situation, when we put our selves into the feeling of the situation ( so we feel vs think ) and employ kindness and compassion for everyone involved regardless of their role, regardless of OUR judgement of right or wrong, healthy vs unhealthy, then we can truly realize that "understanding" doesn't matter. Being supportive and loving to a fellow human being is better for all involved, instead of saying "I totally get it, I understand what you're going through" which can make a persons journey seem insignificant in that moment, because we can't really know, we haven't lived it first hand, we can sympathize, we can empathize, but we don't KNOW. Instead, just be present, listen and offer your support -which may be sharing part of your story to express camaraderie, or what worked for you to get better, just do it with the intention of helping, instead of the idea of understanding, and let what they choose to do with that go.<br /></div>
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If you find that someone else's actions or choices go against what you think is right, take that as an opportunity to express compassion anyway, a chance to send them love anyway, a moment to realize that what they (or you) are going through is probably bigger than the both of you and has a purpose that you just can't see yet. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-89563174685878064672013-12-17T22:57:00.000-08:002013-12-17T23:00:33.348-08:00How I learned to be authentic, and how I found my way back to knowing Love. This has been one of the hardest but most incredibly rewarding years of my life. I stopped writing this blog because I lost a lot of joy, and had a lot of heartbreak and its hard to write about happiness and peace when you don't feel those things. I assure you though, the other posts in this blog are many of the things that got me through the worst of it.<br />
So here are my lessons of 2013:<br />
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How I learned the importance of authenticity when it comes to EVERY single relationship and just as importantly, to myself:<br />
I had a break up with a friend that I had had since high school, horrible things were said, horrible things were done, hearts were broken and disappointed. It all had purpose for me, it was my biggest fear when it came to truly being authentic (by being authentic I mean honoring what is right for me and who I am and being honest about who and what that is) and this big fear came to fruition with a person I really cared about. What ensued was some really deep looking at who I am, and who I've pretended to be. I wanted to figure out how can I align what I have put out in the world in the past that is false and that I created so I could feel like I fit in and that people would like me, with what was really who I have grown to become.<br />
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So this was step one of opening my heart, and letting other people in. I changed how I approached my friendships, I did my best to speak my truth, share my heart and have some difficult and scary conversations that ended up being the most beautiful and supportive moments. I have really deepened some friendships because I actually showed up as myself, not what I perceived the other person wanted me to be.<br />
One of the biggest things for me was telling people that I am intuitive...in the sixth sense, esp, psychic kinda way which really didn't shock anyone but it was like coming out of the closet for me. I also started to share the hard things in my life with honesty and with full trust that whom ever I was sharing with would hold my hand and my heart with the utmost care.<br />
I learned that in order for anyone in this world to know who I am, I have to show up in the world entirely myself.<br />
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How I learned to be grateful for the worst week of my life because ended up bringing me to the most profound place of love:<br />
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My worst week started off with my landlord giving me my one month notice, ultimately because his apartment was in the process of being taken over by the CRA, I made the decision to move back my parents place at least temporarily. I went to their house, told them everything that was going on, and declined the tea my mom had offered because I wanted to go to the mountains/river because I was having a bad day thus far. I left, and less than 5 minutes later I got rear ended, thankfully it was by an elderly woman, so I cared more about her well being in the moment than anything else. Grateful that I could fall back on my holistic/massage training I knew what to do for whiplash so I just went home, had a good cry and went through my protocols. The next few days I was in a lot of pain and had started my chiropractor and massage routine. Then the most heartbreaking thing happened, we had to put Ollie down. I love Ollie, he was the best dog and we had such an incredible bond and understanding, he was my furbaby. So I broke. I lost my apartment, I lost my car, I lost my health (physical, mental, emotional), and I lost my dog. It was the first time in my life that I literally felt broken. That first night after Ollie passed, the only way I got to sleep was to list the things I was still grateful for, and thankfully it worked. I spent days not getting up off of my couch, I didn't know how to keep going, but every morning I woke up so I figured I had to keep going (thankfully I have my Kaya cat and she needed to be taken care of still!)<br />
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So here is the beauty of it all (yes I said beauty!) with the car accident I got to have 21 Chiropractic and massage treatments. I know some really incredible healers and for three months I <i>had</i> to take care of myself by letting others take care of me. They helped me heal not only my body, but my mind, heart and spirit.<br />
Moving in with my parents, who I already have an incredible relationship with, was the best thing for me, because I needed to heal and I needed to be with the two people who love me unconditionally and who would provide me the space and the time to do so. Because of all the 'work' I did deepening some really great friendships, I had an incredible support system and had people to listen to me, and cry with me, and just let me be who ever I could show up as with kindness and compassion. I was surrounded and supported by loving people.<br />
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The grief of Ollie was hard. With moving and everything else that was going on at one point I knew I had to put it aside as best I could to get everything else done. So about a month after I settled into my parents home, I was overcome with grief again. So I decided I had to sit in it. To be present to it. To honor it. To allow it. And then the most incredible thing happened, as I lay in bed sobbing, I understood. I realized that my grief was because I had cut myself off from my connection to Ollie because he had passed. Now bare with me. I went for a walk along an off leash about two weeks before this, and I could feel him walking beside me. I know from my experiences, and with my beliefs, what is true for me, is that you continue on - the whole energy is neither created or destroyed, just changed concept. So my question became, why do I have to disconnect from that feeling of love just because he physically isn't here anymore?? and my answer was, you don't.<br />
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This is how I learned what Love and peace are to me. To come from a place of love, to be love, to connect to love. I opened my heart to it. I breathed into it, and I felt my breath go into the center of my heart chakra - to a place I have never felt it go before. There I found space, that weight, sadness, heaviness was gone. I needed to break in order to get here, all of those broken pieces were bits of things I needed to break free from. <br />
I still miss dog snuggles from time to time, but I truly love my life now, and I know from this point on amazing things are going to happen!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-25557275066442128882013-05-04T14:48:00.002-07:002013-05-04T14:48:27.914-07:00A happiness challenge with a thinking meditation...<br />
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Ever have troubles meditating because you can’t stop
thinking, sometimes we need to actually stop and listen to our thoughts to
create happiness in our lives!</div>
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We feel like we must constantly be doing something, anything
to keep up preoccupied, distracted and ultimately non-present. We have our
smartphones, our tv's and a myriad of other things to preoccupy us so well.
They do serve their purpose, when we have feelings that we don't particularly
like, it is easier to distract ourselves than it is to stop and listen to what
it is that we are upset about, angry at, saddened by etc. because to know the
answer may mean that you have to do something to change it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So this is a call to accept the challenge of growth and
change, you already know the answers to the question of what would truly make
you happy, you are just to busy distracting yourself from it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So try this thinking meditation:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Set some time aside, turn everything off, get out a notebook
or paper and a pen, and ask yourself the question “what do I need to do to be
happier in my life (or at work, or in my relationship etc.)?” and simply let
the thoughts come. Make sure to do you best to keep your thoughts focused on
the question you’ve asked. If you notice that you are thinking about what
should go on the grocery list, breathe and bring your awareness back to your
original question. Our minds like to solve puzzles, so give it the challenge of
finding the best answer to your questions, and write down any insights you get.
Remember the best answer may not be the one that you want to hear, it may not
be the easy one, but it will be the right one for you. If you don’t get any
clear answers the first try, keep at it, try again the next day or week, you
can try wording the question differently and see if it helps (if you asked
‘what about work don’t I like?’ and aren’t getting a good answer, instead ask
‘what could I do to increase my happiness at work?’) try to pose it positively.
And don’t give up, after all your happiness is at stake.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next step is a bit more challenging to carry out, but
simpler to explain.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
FOLLOW YOUR OWN ADVICE. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wish you luck on your journey to a happier life!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-44179452821642012172013-04-28T10:57:00.001-07:002013-04-28T10:57:35.567-07:00The dreaded 'I should' How many times have you done something just because you <i>think you should? </i>Is it really because of your desire to do something, or is it that you don't want to disappoint someone, or create friction with someone?<br />
I find that continuously saying yes because you 'should' vs. because you actually want to leads to all kinds of unhappiness.<br />
<br />
There are many cases for should being acceptable, I should take the garbage out, I should get gas before I go to work... these are things that you eventually need to do, and the 'should' takes form as a reminder for something that is really an ' I have to' we all have these, and sometimes they aren't a good time. These are not the 'should's' I'm talking about.<br />
<br />
The ones I am talking about are the ' I should do________' for someone else. The times you say "I feel like I should" while ignoring the inner knowing that you by no means want to do what ever it is. Often we use it because we want to make other people happy, and by doing something that they want us to do we feel like we are accomplishing that goal. But at what cost?? if you are leaving your own happiness by the wayside while participating in a should, then is it really worth it? and if you are doing it because you don't want your friend or family member mad at you, but you end up wasting your time being miserable, is it really worth it?<br />
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This is also an act of boundary setting, and putting your own needs first which I know first hand how difficult it can be.<br />
When I was much younger, I had friends who always wanted me to go to the bar. I hated the bar, it was loud, there were so many inebriated people, nobody respected personal bubbles, the energy was just too hard on me, and being an empath it made it seriously overwhelming, to the point it was horrifying for me just to think about going. For a little while I did go because I should, it was someones birthday, or celebration of some kind, and I felt like if I didn't (and it was proven that if I didn't) someone would be mad at me for it. I had to start saying no because it was too hard for me to say yes. I did lose some people, but eventually people started to respect that boundary, and knew that if they were going to a bar, I wouldn't be going. For the friends that were worth it, and respectful of it, we made alternate arrangements to celebrate their birthday, I would take them to a movie or for dinner, or to a pub (much better for me). Ultimately I kept the good friends, and got rid of the ones who were only my friend because I would do things for them that made them happy. Truthfully it made me way happier to have good friends, then friends who use, guilt and manipulate me to get what they want, and pursue their happiness at the expense of others.<br />
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The moral??<br />
If you are doing anything because you feel like you should, instead of actually wanting to do it... you are giving your power away, you are diminishing your own light, and you are putting someone else's happiness above your own. If you check in with yourself and realize that you really don't want to be going somewhere, or doing something, don't do it, say no. The more you do, the easier it gets, the happier you will be, and the more empowered you will become.<br />Take a stand and strike the phrase "Well... I feel like I should" out of your vocabulary, or at least delve a little deeper and figure out why you feel that way, and if it isn't because you will enjoy it, or it will mutually benefit you, it isn't worth it. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-4554056629532893092013-04-24T12:24:00.000-07:002013-04-24T12:24:06.176-07:00The Power Of ChoiceHAPPINESS IS A CHOICE.<br />
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I am the only person that is responsible for my own journey. That makes you the only one responsible for your own journey. How you <i>choose</i> to react to what is going on in your life is up to you.<br />
Every moment in your life you have the power to choose how you want to react to any given situation.<br />
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Now, I am not saying it is easy, I will fully admit that it has taken some hard work, some honest, deep down soul searching, belief discarding and embracing and changing, moment by moment irritations and testing, foot stomping, fist balling, jaw clenching... belly breathing, mantra saying, silence invoking, meditation relieving, seeing the bright side, everything happens for a reason, finding the wisdom and lesson in every challenging moment, moments to get to where I am.<br />
<br />
But that is my choice. I choose to be living the best life possible, and to be as joy-filled, and as happy as I can be.<br />
<br />
What do you choose?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-39541754909518606482013-03-04T22:53:00.000-08:002013-03-04T22:53:03.960-08:00Treat Everyone Like They Are Buddha Or someone that you really care about. I swear this will change your life.<br />
I started doing this when I was still working in the food industry. It is a hard industry to work in, considering the amount of people you interact with on a daily basis, and who will show you the full spectrum of humanity.<br />
I was at a great little coffee shop, that in all honesty had some really great people that came in, but every now and again, I was met with someone very frustrating for me. And every now and again, I had a bad day, some times these things would coincide with each other.<br />
So I got to thinking about what I could do to not let someone else's unhappiness affect my happiness (or on bad days, my unhappiness) and it occurred to me that if that negative person was Buddha, how would I treat them?? I would of course treat them with respect and compassion, because that is what I believe Buddha should be treated with. Then I thought, maybe Buddha would be teaching me a lesson in showing compassion for someone who didn't outwardly 'deserve it', and then I thought about why a fellow human being wouldn't deserve to be treated with compassion and respect, and I had a great understanding and realization that EVERYONE deserves to be treated with respect and compassion.<br />
So from that day on, I would just repeat the mantra "treat them like they are Buddha" every time I had a customer that evoked an initial negative response in me, which would switch that moment from a negative to a positive one, and in truth, nine times out of ten, it made a difference in their day too (even if I didn't directly see it).<br />
I also treat everyone out side of my working life (this has carried over into my healing practice) as though they were Buddha, sometimes the purpose of driving is to learn patience, and having compassion and respect for other drivers has made my driving experience far more enjoyable. And every time I am in a situation in which service is being exchanged - like being in a coffee shop, I treat the person who is serving me with the same compassion and respect I know that I deserve, because it all comes back full circle. What you put out there you will receive.<br />
So if the "Buddha" thing doesn't work for you, place in someone that you feel very lovingly towards, and whom you would want other people to treat with respect and compassion, no matter the circumstance.<br />
Treat women like they are your mother, sister, best friend, girlfriend, partner.<br />
Treat men like they are your father, brother, best friend, boyfriend, partner.<br />
Treat children like they are your own, your niece or nephew.<br />
I think that if we all strive to treat everyone like they are Buddha, this world will be a happier place, and perhaps teaching this to everyone and putting it into daily practice is a good start to healing the dis-ease of bullying.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-78086868978158144842013-02-14T11:57:00.000-08:002013-02-14T11:57:15.830-08:00Spend Time With People That Inspire You!I think it is really important on your journey to happiness that you learn from other peoples examples and spend time with people who truly inspire you! Spend some quality time with friends or loved ones who inspire you, or who clearly really enjoy their lives, and allow them to help you out. Ask them how they do it and listen without self-judgement, and feel free to take whatever insights they have shared that resonate with you, and leave the rest (what makes them happy might not be what makes you happy). Also make sure you enjoy the time you spend with them, their happiness will rub off, if you let it.<br />
Spending time reading a book by someone you admire also constitutes spending time with people who inspire you, whether it is a biography, or a self help writer you enjoy, or a fiction book that makes you feel good and inspires you, its worth it.<br />
Soon enough, you'll be the person that is the inspiration (truth be told, you already are, you just have to realize it, and own it)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-1528606858063300152013-01-24T18:51:00.000-08:002013-01-24T18:51:28.943-08:00Treat Yourself The Way You Treat Others!I didn't get the saying wrong I swear! I know we are supposed to treat others the way we want to be treated, but have you ever noticed that you are in fact nicer to others than you are to yourself??<br />
<br />
Our internal dialogues are often negative, we blame ourselves, feel guilt, shame, anger; tell ourselves that we are just not good enough, or not as good as________ (whoever we seem to be comparing ourselves to); we are so hard on ourselves! In truth, if your friend said to you the things that you say to yourself, how fast would you end your friendship??? I hope the answer is really quickly!<br />
How often have you ever said to a friend the things you say to yourself? - as in tell your friend they aren't good enough, or they have bad skin, and could lose a couple pounds? Never! They wouldn't be our friend anymore, and in truth, you probably think they would be crazy to think those things about themselves. You see how nice they are, how beautiful they are, and how much you care about them, and they care about you.<br />
<br />
So I think that we should treat ourselves the way we treat others. It's not <i>just</i> that we want other people to treat us with kindness, compassion, respect, etc., we want to treat ourselves that way too.<br />
When you are talking to yourself, listen to what you are saying, and if you wouldn't ever in a million years say that to your friend, or your family, STOP, change it into something positive, and treat yourself with the kindness, compassion and respect you know you deserve. I promise it will make you happier!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-60763191764876517242013-01-12T13:03:00.001-08:002013-04-24T12:00:23.272-07:00Giving People Their S**t back..A MeditationIf you are like me, you would love to help everyone you care about any way you can. Often this leads to carrying someone else's burden, drama, pain, discomfort etc. with the idea that we are helping them out. When in reality, we are just holding on to their stuff, while they still have full grasp of it. We cannot ease someone else's pains or burdens by energetically holding on to it to "for them." We can however help by lending an ear, being as compassionate and empathetic as possible and being there for them.<br />
<br />
So what happens when we somewhat unconsciously hold onto our loved ones shit? we get run down, our energy shifts, perhaps we stop being in such a great mood and cant quite put our fingers on it, try this meditation and see if you feel better after...<br />
<br />
Sit comfortably, breathe a little slower and deeper than normal until you feel yourself relax. Then when you are ready, visualize a box in front of you, it can be any color, any size (if your holding onto a lot it can be a refrigerator box), then choose a person who's shit your holding on to with them, and picture all of their stuff going from you and into that box. Take your time and remember to breathe. Remember this box can grow as you put stuff in it, its flexible!<br />
When your done filling this box with their stuff, add to it feelings of love and light, then visualize putting a lid on it, and wrapping it, elaborately or simply, your choice. When your done, visualize handing this present back to the person who owns it. Knowing it was theirs in the first place, and that you are doing it with love.<br />
Repeat with as many people as you need!<br />
When you are done, simply take a few deep breaths, feel your awareness come back to your body, and into the room you are in, wiggle your fingers and toes, and gently open your eyes.<br />
Your done, see how you feel. And remember you are still a great and wonderful friend, and when you are unburdened by other peoples shit, you can actually be a more loving person.<br />
Good luck and happy meditations!<br />
<br />
*an addition to the meditation!! I realized that in any relationship there are (at least) two people involved, and you are one of them, so when you give who ever it is their shit back, <i>remember to take back your own!</i> visualize them giving you your box of shit back for you to take ownership of. This will free you to take responsibility for your own journey which is really important in the quest for happiness.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-35971554039077634102012-11-27T21:04:00.001-08:002012-11-27T21:04:02.301-08:00New Years ResolutionsI want to change the way I do resolutions. I personally do them on my birthday, because then it is for my personal year, and I often reflect on the past year then vs. at the end of the calendar year. So I have decided to base my resolutions on feelings instead of on things. I have noticed that if I resolve to change something that puts too much pressure on myself, or is based on material or superficial things, I set myself up for failing. So this year I want to feel abundant, happy, love, healthy, creative, even more empowered, aware, and connected. So now its the fun part of figuring out what I can do to elicit those feelings as often as possible! (which I promise will grace the pages of this blog as I go!)<br />
<br />
As an example, every year gyms make a ton of money in January because of all the people out there who are determined to lose weight, by March (if not before) a very high percentage of people no longer go, and have given up on their resolution. So instead of wanting lose weight, figure out what feelings you are chasing, is it the feeling of being healthy? more energetic? happiness? feeling sexier? Find ways to feel those feelings and your weight should change in a positive way as a natural bi-product!<br />
If it is health your after, set an intention to make better/healthier food choices, or decide to try at least one new health based thing this year - jazzercise, yoga, jogging, walking, zumba, and try to have fun with it. If you hate doing it, you won't last, so set yourself up for success by trying to find something that you can enjoy, even if its just a little.<br />
If it is increased energy, try to go to bed at a better time and get a good nights sleep, decrease your caffeine and sugar intake in the day, increase the amount you exercise, eat healthier, do things with a smile.<br />
If it is happiness, read this blog :) , do things with a smile, breathe, think of the things that make you the happiest (whether it be scrapbooking, dancing, laughing, meditation, spiritual pursuits, reading a great book) and do that as often as you can. Explore all of the things that make you smile, and you will find yourself happier as time goes on.<br />
If it is feeling sexy, wear clothes that you feel good in, and tell yourself that you are sexy (while smiling) even when you aren't feeling that way, eventually you will feel it. Try to focus on the areas of your body that you love vs. the parts that you feel could use some work. Be gentle with yourself!<br />
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Instead of making the 'issue' the focus of change, make the positive feeling the creator of change!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-45924718036551685502012-11-08T00:15:00.001-08:002012-11-08T00:15:24.081-08:00The Balance MythI don't know if it is just me that does this, but I think the concept of balance has me striving to achieve something that is truly not achievable. I don't know if it is the visualization of a see-saw and having something as equal on one side as it is on the other to obtain that perfect level of balance or just the amount of things that I have read or heard about achieving and maintaining the mythological balance. To be honest I am not even sure what it is that I am trying to balance, is it family and work, is it work and rest and play, how many things am I allowed to try to balance? and should it all be equal parts? 50/50, 33.3/33.3/33.3??<br />
<br />
I feel like I hear other people talk about trying to achieve the same thing, some sort of ability to divide our time up into specific areas to make sure that we spend the right amount of time in the right amount of spaces to create the right amount of happiness. But because our lives are always changing, this concept of balance has become something that is more of a stress when we don't feel like we have it; then it is something that helps us feel good about ourselves/our lives.<br />
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I think that we have also created the idea of balance to make sure that we are spending our time appropriately and making sure that we aren't being wasteful with our precious time. So I decided to look at my life and see where I was wasting my time. And often the first things that I consider are the times in which I am relaxing. TV is a huge time 'waster' for me, but it is really one of the few things that will allow my mind to check out for a few minutes at a time, and in truth the amount that goes on in there, my mind needs some down time too! So really, not wasteful. In truth it is important to rest, and recoup in order to stay healthy. I see my family and friends often, sometimes it more, sometimes its less, I work quite a bit, but that goes with doing what you love, and loving what you do, and growing a business. Some days I work harder than others, it all depends on how I feel. I don't have kids, maybe balance is different when your a parent. <br />
<br />
So is my life 'unbalanced'? probably. Should I strive to make it swing into some sort of balance? probably not. I think I am just going to let my notions of balance go, and let my life be what it is for every moment it is.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-30824564627524549102012-10-26T12:45:00.001-07:002012-10-26T12:45:10.155-07:00The Power of ForgivenessForgiving someone is often a really hard thing to do, having that conversation with someone that you really don't want to have can be even harder, but what happens when you are unable to talk to them? or simply aren't ready to?<br />
The first step is to forgive on your part. Write a letter to the person who you feel has wronged you, make sure to make it as truthful as possible, get your feelings out let them know how much they hurt you. Let everything out (especially all those things that you wished you could have said in the moment), even if it means you are writing a novel. <i>They will NEVER read this letter. </i>This is for you and only you to see. Once you are done, burn it, flush it, get rid of it in any cathartic way that you feel good with (personally I love to burn these!) This will help get things out.<br />
Next step, this is very important! Forgive yourself. You need to acknowledge that you are a part of this scenario as well, be kind and compassionate to yourself and understand that you did the best you could with the tools that you had, own your part of what happened and figure out how you can grow from it. If you need to, write a similar letter to yourself, and burn it too.<br />
Now try to see it from the wrong doers perspective, see if you can find it in yourself to feel compassion for this person then send them the thoughts of love and light, and wish them the best on their journey.<br />
<br />
Forgiveness doesn't have to be about forgetting, and it doesn't mean that you have to now have this person back in your life or that you excuse their behavior/actions. This is for you to <i>heal</i>, for you to <i>grow</i>, and for you to <i>move forward in your life</i>. The only person who suffers from holding on to pain, resentment, anger, and hurt feelings is <i><b>you</b></i>. The only person who can release these feelings is <i><b>you.</b></i><br />
<i><b><br /></b></i>
If you are still having some troubles letting go, and feel that you need to hear them say they are sorry to you, but cannot accomplish this, write another letter. Write it to you, from them, in it write all of the things that you wish they would say to you. Ask someone that you love and trust to read the letter to you, sit with closed eyes and picture the person who hurt you as the one speaking. Remember to breathe, and let the emotions that come up be free to come out, give yourself permission to heal and forgive. Then burn that letter too.<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-78159318275115753892012-09-28T00:51:00.002-07:002012-09-28T00:51:23.385-07:00Take a breath<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxOzplBhlxCG9I7CUBB1sLxFAXjHH2CP3-D15mmWA0fpaWQWoBMjoUaIVHTCgzOEIzW6jzVtd3x8mhwrJR31k8_eWuh2-3iNg1wKlHc70XCs1cewwoMbmOFKx8h3_f3yWe6kvJbikHzNSJ/s1600/IMG_0611.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxOzplBhlxCG9I7CUBB1sLxFAXjHH2CP3-D15mmWA0fpaWQWoBMjoUaIVHTCgzOEIzW6jzVtd3x8mhwrJR31k8_eWuh2-3iNg1wKlHc70XCs1cewwoMbmOFKx8h3_f3yWe6kvJbikHzNSJ/s320/IMG_0611.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
I admit it, I am a tree hugger...literally. I love being in nature. I took this picture on a hike that I recently went on, clearly it was well worth it. It was a challenge for me for sure, my still slightly sore legs will agree with that. The great thing was, at the end of it, not only did I feel more peaceful but I felt really proud of myself (and my wonderful Mom that came with me!) for getting the full hike in, no shortcuts. We realized as we were trying to get up another incline, at a pace that was far faster than necessary, it was far more enjoyable to go a bit slower so we could actually enjoy it (and breathe at the same time). It was a great reminder for me, why rush the journey? just enjoy it all as it unfolds, take the time to look around and you'll appreciate the end result even more!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-10720777202027311032012-09-21T23:52:00.000-07:002012-09-21T23:52:00.732-07:00I'm going to get my half orange...I am reading Meeting Your Half-Orange by Amy Spencer, and I highly recommend it for any lady (or man) out there who is single, and is really wanting to find their partner. I have been devouring books on self improvement, spirituality, energy, healing, physics and how the universe works, for years and years. I do this because I have a constant striving to improve my life, have an understanding of what I do for a living, and to have the ability to share what I have learned with others in hopes that it can help them too. Not to mention how much I like to read! This is the first time I have intentionally picked up a book that to improve my love life, because I know that being in a meaningful, wonderful, and loving relationship will make me happy, and I decided it was time to maybe get some help in the one area of my life that wasn't making me happy. Thanks to this incredible book, I really feel good about admitting that the right romantic partner will be an improvement in my life, and a partnership will in fact make me a stronger person - and by admitting this it doesn't mean that I am any less of the incredible woman that I am, it is just getting the right message to the universe.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-57089771464297144102012-09-08T10:47:00.001-07:002012-09-08T10:47:11.258-07:00Lead By ExampleThis goes along with my last post of listening and honoring yourself. Leading by example is a really important thing to do that can help improve your happiness!<br />
Do you ever find yourself getting frustrated that people do something that was clearly not right? or just inconsiderate? I find that inconsiderate actions are hard for me to remain calm and centered about, so I have been trying to find the best way for me to keep my wits about me, and leading by example has really helped. I have made the conscious decision to do what I know is right for me, and making sure that I am kind and considerate to others!<br />
Driving can be a time when all of this comes out, we have all had the person that is driving very closely behind us because we are apparently going to slow for them, and I know we have also been the person to do it to someone else. So instead of getting mad about it, I give them space, and wait calmly until I can go around, there is no sense stressing them out, and myself out, when it just isn't necessary.<br />
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If you don't like it when something happens to you, or someone treats you a certain way, then don't do it to someone else. Lead by example, and if and when that thing that bugs you happens, take a nice deep breath, smile, and be grateful that you don't do that -what ever it is- anymore. I know this sounds a bit like common sense but we all still have that little egoic thing in us that wants retribution from time to time!<br />
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Being proactive and applying not so random acts of kindness is also a good plan, smiling first at someone generally ensures they will smile at you back, and hopefully at the next person too! Aim for happiness, project happiness as often as possible, and maybe someone will see how happy you are and try to emulate it!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-30700099892936107072012-08-12T12:58:00.001-07:002012-08-12T12:58:03.307-07:00R-E-S-P-E-C-TI hope when reading the title of this post you sung r-e-s-p-e-c-t like Aretha Franklin, I certainly did and it made me happy!<br />
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So this is an important one, and one that takes a lot of us many years to really grasp and follow (and by us I mean me, I just hope I am not the only one!) I should clarify this is about respecting yourself, not about others - though I do obviously encourage you to respect others too, just as long as you are respecting yourself first and foremost.<br />
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In order to really be able to help others, or to live happily among other people we need to learn the art of self respect. I have been trying to figure out why it is such a bad thing to be selfish or self centered, I understand that when it is coming from a place of pure ego, or when it is out of balance, or if it is intentionally hurting others, that it is a bad thing. But why are we taught that it is so bad to be focusing on self?? I know some selfish people, and I know that I get mad when they are selfish, but when I think about what really makes me mad, I realize that I am not selfish enough, I will do for others before I will do for myself, and that my anger is really masking my desire to do the same, and the frustration that I am not.<br />
So I made a promise to myself that I will start respecting, honoring and listening to myself, and what I want as long as I am coming from a heart centered place. And amazing things started to happen! I found the power to say no to things that I didn't want to do, and I now listen to my body when I am overdoing things, and taking time for me to rest and recharge. * I am returning my power to myself! instead of giving it all away to everyone else. I truly feel empowered now.<br />
I do know that I have hurt some feelings along the way, interestingly enough though, I don't actually feel bad about it! It is all because I intentionally come from a heart centered place, which basically means that I am making sure to respect my choices and decisions, and making sure that I am saying no based on how I really feel and not out of spite or drama. I have also come to the understanding that it isn't my job to make sure other peoples feelings don't get hurt, it's my job to make sure that <i>mine</i> don't. So instead of obliging others at the expense of my happiness, I allow my heart to be heard and honored instead.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-85283954114448633352012-07-31T21:18:00.004-07:002012-07-31T21:18:58.853-07:00The Concept of FunI was out for tea with a friend and she brought up a really good point that I fully connect with. Who is it that decided what days we can have fun on, and what we have to do in order to have fun. If you think of the days you are supposed to 'go out and have fun' its almost guaranteed that you are going to say Friday and Saturday nights, right? and why do you have to go out, drink, do drugs, go to a place that plays horribly loud music etc. etc.?<br />
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I know that I am almost 30, and I am bound to be making changes in my life, social life included. But I have never enjoyed the bar scene, I have never really been much of a drinker/recreational drug user, and in the past few years I haven't been at all. This does not mean that I don't have fun. I can go out for tea, or for a walk, hang out with friends, or to an event and have a lot of fun, I can also sit at home and read a good book and have fun.<br />
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I think what fun really comes down to for me is what I enjoy doing, not doing things that are based on what 'they' decide is fun. The point of this and how it relates to happiness is this: Do what feels right for you. I know it can be hard when what you like goes against the grain a little, but do it anyway. I promise you will find new friends that will share in what you love doing, and some friends may surprise you and enjoy doing the fun things you like to do too.<br />
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Everything just comes down to honoring and respecting yourself, as long as you are doing that you will be happier and have a lot of fun!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-40963009822003577512012-07-31T13:39:00.000-07:002012-07-31T13:39:12.506-07:00Morning GratitudeI am starting to realize that thinking about five or so things that I am grateful for in the morning is also useful. Personally I think about it before I get out of bed/between snooze button hits, its work to write it down, and I figure thinking about it is just as effective. It does help me start my day off on a more positive note and I feel more motivated to get things done in the day!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-67238271864435457592012-07-23T21:31:00.002-07:002012-07-23T21:31:41.001-07:00Falling Off The Happiness Wagon<br />
I fell off...hard. My original intent was to share awesome inspiring ways that I have found personally useful to maintain and/or create happiness (hence the blogs name) but now I realize that it is just as important to say the crappy parts of the journey, because I know that they are just as important as the happy parts. I am grateful for every experience in my life. I know that every time I pick myself back up and continue where I left off I am proud of myself, and it gets a little easier each time. <div>
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Okay so the crappy part, also a forewarning if you plan on doing the burn I outlined in the previous post: so a culmination of things happened to assist me in the parting of me and my wagon (I admit my role in this!) I had a very big project to do for my business, and I had a month to complete it. I started it very shortly after said burn, which - this is the forewarning part - I realized was the start of a small downward spiral. I spent three full days thinking about the beliefs that I had from childhood that no longer served and supported me. In retrospect, that was far too long, it created a negative space for a prolonged period of time, combined with the dwelling on things well after the burn. At the same time, some of these belief systems were tested by my family by synchronicity, some of these tests I admittedly failed. Then my deadline grew nearer, and I grew more devoted to its completion, and less devoted to my spiritual and happiness inducing practices, first to drop off was my morning Qi-Gong, then my visualizations, my gratitude 5, my journal entries, my breathing, my attitude, my drive to do better.... Then my project ended, I completed it, and I feel good about the final product. But I didn't resume my routine, or even re-start one of the things that is important to me. So there was no joy or excitement at the completion of a major task, and really I just felt like sitting in front of my TV with all of my spare time and just mentally and spiritually check out, and that is exactly what I have been doing for the past 2+ weeks. Which I tell ya, felt a whole lot longer than that!</div>
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So then I started to go to other people to seek out what is wrong, and to get them to help me feel better, and in the process met a wonderful Tibetan medicine man, who asked me if I go to get water from my neighbors when I am thirsty? and oh the realization that I am a healer who maybe should be working my magic on myself hit me. Then I realized all the things I had been doing before were truly making me happy, it was a way to honor and empower myself. I got up this morning, I did my morning visualizations (between snooze buttons so I don't lose track of time) and I did Qi-Gong while my water for tea was boiling (which a friend inspired me to do today), and I have to say I already feel the way I did over a month ago. My family stress has eased, I can breathe again, and I feel like the light inside me is back to shining with all its brilliance.( I suppose it really has always been there shining, it was just me that didn't notice) </div>
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The moral of the story is: <span style="background-color: white;">Sometimes we need to have unhappiness to really appreciate happiness, be grateful for the dark so you can appreciate the light. We do all need to have a balance, and I know that I will still have moments, or days where I am not at my highest happiness point, but I have now made the commitment to myself to do the best I can, and if that means I revel in my unhappiness for a bit, or I only do one of my happiness inducing things, or I do them all, or add something new into the mix, so be it. Showing kindness and compassion to ourselves should actually be the first thing on the list of creating happiness!</span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5502897694926877121.post-72236264233162154792012-06-14T15:07:00.000-07:002012-06-14T15:07:12.172-07:00Hug Your EgoI started doing this awhile back, and don't always remember to do it in every moment it is needed but seriously this one thing helps A LOT!<br />
If you can manage to do this before ego is in full tantrum it works really quickly, if in full blow tantrum it sometimes takes a little longer to remember to do.<br />
Practice this visualization so that you can call on the visual whenever you need to.<br />
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First - start out picturing your ego, visualize a 2-5 year old version of yourself, and make sure that version is an unhappy kid, the one with a little snot hanging out, with red eyes from crying, shoulders slumped, maybe the arm of a teddy bear in one hand with the rest of it dragging on the floor, head down with your hair limply hanging in front of your face, feet pointing awkwardly inward. This is your ego, a sad, probably scared little kid.<br />
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Second - picture you now, happy, loving and compassionate, and really feel it.<br />
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Third - Picture you now giving that sad, scared little kid a great big loving hug. Feel what it would feel like to be that little kid getting such love, kindness, compassion and support in knowing that everything is going to be okay.<br />
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That's it. easy peasy. If you are not a visual person and are more auditory, hear the sounds of a tantrum - yelling, screaming, moaning, crying and then think of the soothing words that would make that child feel better and have them quiet down. Choose a couple of words and use them as your trigger words (shhh everything is going to be alright etc. be creative)<br />
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You can be proactive with this one too, if you don't like public speaking but know you have to do a presentation in front of co-workers, fellow students, bosses, teachers, whoever, before you go up there take those deep breaths, and picture this, let your ego be calmed before you need to go out there, your fear will instantly be soothed as your ego is soothed, for they are often one and the same.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16048185035848123439noreply@blogger.com1