The dreaded 'I should'

How many times have you done something just because you think you should? Is it really because of your desire to do something, or is it that you don't want to disappoint someone, or create friction with someone?
I find that continuously saying yes because you 'should' vs. because you actually want to leads to all kinds of unhappiness.

There are many cases for should being acceptable, I should take the garbage out, I should get gas before I go to work... these are things that you eventually need to do, and the 'should' takes form as a reminder for something that is really an ' I have to' we all have these, and sometimes they aren't a good time. These are not the 'should's' I'm talking about.

The ones I am talking about are the ' I should do________' for someone else. The times you say "I feel like I should" while ignoring the inner knowing that you by no means want to do what ever it is. Often we use it because we want to make other people happy, and by doing something that they want us to do we feel like we are accomplishing that goal. But at what cost?? if you are leaving your own happiness by the wayside while participating in a should, then is it really worth it? and if you are doing it because you don't want your friend or family member mad at you, but you end up wasting your time being miserable, is it really worth it?

This is also an act of boundary setting, and putting your own needs first which I know first hand how difficult it can be.
When I was much younger, I had friends who always wanted me to go to the bar. I hated the bar, it was loud, there were so many inebriated people, nobody respected personal bubbles, the energy was just too hard on me, and being an empath it made it seriously overwhelming, to the point it was horrifying for me just to think about going. For a little while I did go because I should, it was someones birthday, or celebration of some kind, and I felt like if I didn't (and it was proven that if I didn't) someone would be mad at me for it. I had to start saying no because it was too hard for me to say yes. I did lose some people, but eventually people started to respect that boundary, and knew that if they were going to a bar, I wouldn't be going. For the friends that were worth it, and respectful of it, we made alternate arrangements to celebrate their birthday, I would take them to a movie or for dinner, or to a pub (much better for me). Ultimately I kept the good friends, and got rid of the ones who were only my friend because I would do things for them that made them happy. Truthfully it made me way happier to have good friends, then friends who use, guilt and manipulate me to get what they want, and pursue their happiness at the expense of others.

The moral??
If you are doing anything because you feel like you should, instead of actually wanting to do it... you are giving your power away, you are diminishing your own light, and you are putting someone else's happiness above your own. If you check in with yourself and realize that you really don't want to be going somewhere, or doing something, don't do it, say no. The more you do, the easier it gets, the happier you will be, and the more empowered you will become.
Take a stand and strike the phrase "Well... I feel like I should" out of your vocabulary, or at least delve a little deeper and figure out why you feel that way, and if it isn't because you will enjoy it, or it will mutually benefit you, it isn't worth it. 

The Power Of Choice

HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE.

I am the only person that is responsible for my own journey. That makes you the only one responsible for your own journey. How you choose to react to what is going on in your life is up to you.
Every moment in your life you have the power to choose how you want to react to any given situation.

Now, I am not saying it is easy, I will fully admit that it has taken some hard work, some honest, deep down soul searching, belief discarding and embracing and changing, moment by moment irritations and testing, foot stomping, fist balling, jaw clenching... belly breathing, mantra saying, silence invoking, meditation relieving, seeing the bright side, everything happens for a reason, finding the wisdom and lesson in every challenging moment, moments to get to where I am.

But that is my choice. I choose to be living the best life possible, and to be as joy-filled, and as happy as I can be.

What do you choose?